Blogs don't burn

I just wanted to note that I’ve been listening to this...

Fri, 24 May 2013 11:37:49 -0400

I just wanted to note that I’ve been listening to this lovely, sad album non-stop while traipsing around Bremen and that, if you’re looking for a soundtrack to the movie of your life—the one in which you’re always starring, that plays in your head as you go about your mundane, decidedly un-Hollywood existence—I cannot recommend it highly enough.

(Also, that bassist Chris Baio studied Russian at Columbia, which basically means that he is my betrothed. Basically.)

Fracking Might Destroy the German Beer Industry

Fri, 24 May 2013 10:01:00 -0400

Fracking Might Destroy the German Beer Industry:

IF THIS ISN’T REASON ENOUGH TO STOP FRACKING, LIEBE LEUTE, THEN WHAT IS!?

Russian Spy Games | Foreign Affairs

Thu, 23 May 2013 11:17:00 -0400

Russian Spy Games | Foreign Affairs:

The whole piece is great, and you should read it in its entirety, but, if you don’t, the conclusion is this:

“For now though, America is a big deal for Russia whereas Russia is a nusiance for America. The real lesson of the whole affair is thus likely one learned by the Kremlin — any outrage from Moscow will be matched by shrugs in Washington.”

Recently, a friend of mine who majored in East Asian Studies and I were talking about Russia. And about how nobody asks her why she studied China, but they tell me—very directly—that studying Russia was a waste, or a mistake, or both. And she said that that would probably change soon, based on how things are going with Russia.

And I wondered aloud how our foreign relations would be different if we didn’t wait for Russia to become the problem child before we started paying actual attention to it. If we greased the wheel before it started squeaking, squeaking, squeaking, so loudly that it’s all that can be heard.

"Wake up every morning and tell yourself that you’re a badass bitch from hell and that no one can..."

Thu, 23 May 2013 08:17:09 -0400

““Wake up every morning and tell yourself that you’re a badass bitch from hell and that no one can fuck with you and then don’t let anybody fuck with you.””

- Kate Nash’s advice to college students (via morganmarguerite). This quote made it around the Internet a while ago, it seems, but I only came across it just now. Which, incidentally, was the same moment at which I realized I needed to have it on my blog.

BBC News - BBC poll: Germany most popular country in the world

Thu, 23 May 2013 05:05:00 -0400

BBC News - BBC poll: Germany most popular country in the world:

COUNT IT.

I just got back from seeing The Great Gatsby (in theatres! in...

Wed, 22 May 2013 18:54:43 -0400

I just got back from seeing The Great Gatsby (in theatres! in Germany! in English! with German subtitles!).

(Long aside: I went to see the movie with a few friends, none of whom are American. And, though there might have been other Americans in the theatre, the majority, at least, were German. And I sat down fighting the urge to explain—to everyone, really—how different their viewing experience would be from mine. Because I read this book in high school, and because I know about the history of the time. Because I am familiar with it the way that all Americans over the age of seventeen are familiar with it. That it is, to us, beloved in a way few other tomes are. And that I would know the story, watching it, in a way that they could not. And it wasn’t until I was on the tram home that I realized how incredibly stupid and hypocritical that line of thinking was. Is. Firstly, because I study a culture that isn’t my own, and would be so offended if someone dismissed any attempt I made to understand it. I can’t imagine my reaction if a Russian told me that I’d never know The Master and Margarita (disclaimer: I’d lose it). But secondly, because, even if nobody else in the theatre had done more than a cursory reading of the book—even if they didn’t know what a commentary was on the ’20s, or on the East Coast, or didn’t grow up in the real-life environ on which East Egg was based—EVEN THEN is my interpretation of the film no more legitimate or truer or better than any of theirs. End long aside.)

The best review of Sex and the City 2 (which, no, I did not see) that I read back when it was IN A THEATRE NEAR YOU was titled, “The Beautiful Outfit is Empty.” A review could, I think, be written about Baz Luhrman’s The Great Gatsby under the same name.

My main issue, I suppose, was with the depiction of the narrator character, Nick Carraway. Or, rather, with the frame story that colors the depiction of Nick (which is to say: Tobey Maguire, I don’t blame you at all for any of this). My mother recently reread The Great Gatsby (this may or may not have been related to recently having a son in high school) and concluded that high schoolers are far too young to read and understand it and get anything out of it. Which is, I think, mostly true, and would be completely true, were it not for the fact that high schoolers need to know Nick. Narrator Nick is, to me, far and away the best, most interesting, most relatable character in the whole book. He’s also its moral compass. Nick is the one who’s not of Daisy or Tom—or even Gatsby’s—world. And this is in part (at least according to my high school English teacher) because he is closer to the Midwest. But it’s also just who he is. Because there’s a grounded-ness to him that the others just don’t have. And that keeps him the one sane character throughout. Including at the very end, when he leaves in disgust, on to better, if not bigger, things. He’s grounded and he’s sane.

Except that, in the movie, he isn’t! The whole thing is framed as him writing a book in a sanatorium. The story of the movie, ostensibly, is told because Nick mentions Gatsby and his doctor tells him to write it all down. This is, to me, a huge problem. Firstly, because this frame story is unnecessary. Just use a voiceover, Baz. It’s fine. But secondly, because—as a friend of mine so eloquently put it—this makes the viewer think that maybe the problem is with Nick. He’s the mad one, after all. The movie, in other words, messes with the moral compass in order to have words dramatically scrawled out on the screen. And I know that this sounds like a minor quibble, and I know that I’m not saying it correctly, but this, to me, wrecks something so fundamental to the book.

And that, ultimately, is my problem with the movie more generally. The fundamentals. The Great Gatsby—the book, that is—isn’t about the costumes or the music or the parties. It’s a deeply moral and moving story. And having Tobey Maguire tell us at the end what we should feel isn’t the same as making us feel it all along. And the movie isn’t terribly concerned with feeling—sympathy or empathy—for the majority of the time. Until the very end, maybe, and then as an afterthought. And I think that, in part, this is because Carey Mulligan (whom I love, but whom I think was maybe a bit miscast?) is on the brink of tears from her first meeting with Gatsby until the end of the film (she’s maybe a bit too lovely and sad, is what I’m saying). But mostly, I think, that problem is that it makes the same mistakes that the old money on East Egg and the nouveau riche on West Egg made. It listens to and looks at song and dance and costumes (“Ms. Mulligan’s party gown was by Prada” is an actual credit) and money and money and money and sees something that matters. It conflates a beautiful surface with a beautiful substance. It is what its story’s original author was condemning.

And it’s all great fun! It’s a beautiful film, and the soundtrack is cool. But if that’s all it is, what differentiates it from one of Gatsby’s parties?

“If you’re going to spend all this money on a movie, shouldn’t we feel transported by it?” a friend of mine said as we waited for the tram. But that’s just it. Throwing money at something doesn’t make us feel for it.

Just ask Jay Gatsby.

"I think you will end up rooting for Bayern, because they have ‘Sweet Baby’ Neuer."

Wed, 22 May 2013 07:42:55 -0400

““I think you will end up rooting for Bayern, because they have ‘Sweet Baby’ Neuer.””

- A French student, who knows I’m only in this for the nicknames.

The following are the thoughts that I had whilst watching the...

Wed, 22 May 2013 07:07:00 -0400

The following are the thoughts that I had whilst watching the above “Weiner for Mayor” video.

“Everyday starts right here. And it’s the best part of my day.” Glad that your day now begins with you feeding your child and not sharing pictures of your nether regions with strangers. You reformed Family Man, you!
“And then you step outside, and New York’s like no other place.” What is this, The Hours?
Then we have a segment on Weiner’s middle class, Brooklyn upbringing. Because he’s a man of the people, etc. (Although—you’re younger than my parents, Anthony Weiner. You were not playing stick ball late into the night. And why are the images of your youth so old timey? This was what, the seventies? They had color photography then, Weiner. Don’t you lie to us again.)
“I went to PS 39. My mom was a school teacher for 31 years in public schools just like this.” SIR, YOUR MOTHER IS YOU IN A WIG.
On his parents: “Theirs is the classic New York story. You work hard. You make it into the middle class. And you make life a little bit better for your kids.” Look, Anthony, this isn’t your fault, but I am so tired of these phony narratives about what America used to be, what New York used to be, etc. etc. This monolithic American dream that nobody ever really dreamt. (Plus—and I say this loving New York more than I love any other city—we’re talking about the city of Boss Tweed and tenements and Ellis Island and Rockefeller and extreme poverty. New York has never been a utopia for the middle class. It’s always been the place to make it, but never the place to have it made. If you want to run on a platform of making it so, by all means. But don’t act as though we haven’t taken eighth grade American history.)
“That’s how this city was built!” Please see above bullet.
Then a lecture on how bad things have gotten in New York, etc. etc.
“You wanna buy? It’ll cost you a million bucks.” I, too, say bucks when I want to seem approachable.
“And we need to keep this city safe.” Maybe next time don’t juxtapose that line with a shot of minority moms and children? I know you’re trying to say safe FOR them, but that image could be pretty easily misconstrued, you know?
I do sincerely love this gesticulating pizza man you found on a random pizzeria corner. (Though I’m not sure why you’re smiling, since he’s purportedly talking about nickle and diming regulations.)
Then a litany of your good deeds in Congress, blah blah blah, and then…
“Look, I’ve made some big mistakes. And I know I let a lot of people down. But I’ve also learnt some tough lessons.” Okay, see, now, none of those lessons are applicable to being mayor. “I am married and thus I shouldn’t tweet photos of my genitalia in my underwear to younger women. And, when caught, I shouldn’t lie about it. Badly.” Having learnt that lesson does not qualify you to be mayor! This isn’t like, “Oh, I worked this really hard job, but I came out stronger, and now I can serve New York City.” No. “I screwed up my last job and had to resign in disgrace. Lesson learnt. May I be mayor now?”
“I’m running for mayor because I’ve been fighting for the middle class my entire life.” Firstly, I highly doubt that you were doing so in your childhood. And secondly, when you were distracted from your job in Congress first by megalomania and then by scandal, were you really fighting for the middle class?
“And I hope I get a second chance to work for you.” I mean, look. You very well might. Mark “Appalachian Trail” Sanford was just elected to Congress. But, quoth my mother (and probably yours), “You never get a second chance to make a first impression.”
“New York City should be the middle class capital of the world.” I still disagree with you on this whole middle class narrative, but sure.
“And I’ve got some ideas on how to do it. Sixty four of ‘em!” This line is hilarious for me for reasons I will never understand.
And then Huma Abedin shows up and is all, “No one will work harder than Anthony!” And there is something so distasteful to me about all of this.

I don’t actually think that politicians’ private lives have much of anything to do with their ability to govern well. However. I do think that there are certain things that reveal the content of one’s character, and that we should be represented by people with some sense of ethics/scruples. And this man behaved unscrupulously. Full stop.

Moreover—he’s not arguing that his private life has nothing to do with his ability to govern. Quite the contrary! Look, he says. Look at my solid, middle class upbringing. Look at my loving family. Look at my supportive (and forgiving) wife. All of this qualifies me to be mayor! He is explicitly using his private self to support his public life.

And if the narrative of the private life is as constructed as the one about New York City’s middle class? Here, too, Weiner is clearly counting on the fact that nobody pays much attention to history.

All Hail the Queen? | Bitch Media

Mon, 20 May 2013 15:56:00 -0400

All Hail the Queen? | Bitch Media:

This piece—a criticism of the criticism of Beyoncé’s feminism—is beyond great, and you (and you! and you!) should read it.

The 'Cold Peace' Between Moscow and Washington Just Got Colder - By Anna Nemtsova | Foreign Policy

Mon, 20 May 2013 15:50:00 -0400

The 'Cold Peace' Between Moscow and Washington Just Got Colder - By Anna Nemtsova | Foreign Policy:

The content of this (excellent) piece is not funny in a humorous way, but it is humorous in its absurdity. Why?

Firstly, because it seems that Ryan Fogle, the spy masquerading as a diplomat, was not actually set up. The theory that I had read (and believed) was that, while he was a CIA agent, he was framed by Russia to make his forced exit all the more dishonorable (as in, he did not actually write that poorly worded letter, etc.). But it seems—from this piece, anyway—that it was all—the wig; the ridiculous letter; the compass(!?!?); the thousands of euros on hand—actually just the work of Ryan “Genuinely Terrible Spy” Fogle.

And secondly:

“The intensifying pressure has already prompted two U.S. democracy promotion organizations to pull out of Russia earlier this year. Dozens of Russian NGOs have stopped applying for U.S. grants for fear of being prosecuted as ‘foreign agents.’ These tensions aren’t about to go away anytime soon. The political scientist and former Kremlin adviser Sergei Markov is convinced that the Kremlin will never stop putting pressure on pro-American ‘agents.’ ‘Nobody,’ he says, ‘is going to give a chance to American organizations inspired by radical characters like John McCain to foment a revolution in Russia.’ And so, he says, as long as America pursues attempts to overthrow Putin, ‘the two countries will continue to live in a state of cold peace.’”

That John McCain is considered a radical character means it is a sad, sad day for radicalism.

I don’t normally blog about Mad Men—I think it is the...

Mon, 20 May 2013 15:07:03 -0400

I don’t normally blog about Mad Men—I think it is the best, and what else is there to say?—but this is a) too, too great and b) an important reminder that shots o’ speed are never the answer to the question that is a creative deadline.

Signed, Sealed, Delivered: And now, an open letter to Sansa Stark

Mon, 20 May 2013 12:53:00 -0400

Girl. Girl, girl, girl. Listen, I know you will not read this—in part because you are a fictional character, and in part because you seem to be too busy wandering through gardens looking miserable to read—but someone needs to say it in the hope that you hear:

You have terrible taste in men.

I mean. You have possibly the worst taste in men ever displayed by any character on any television show ever watched by me. Okay? It’s bad.

First you wanted to marry Joffrey, who, you need no reminding, is the living worst. And when your dad (my deepest condolences, girl) was like, “No, Sansa, marry someone worthy of you,” you were like, “I don’t want someone worthy! I want him!”

And then you realized that he was the living worst (after he showed you your father’s head on a pike, which, yes, I WOULD HOPE that that would get through to you) and you were dumped by your beau for a newer, hotter, less traitor-affiliated model, and you wandered gardens miserably (as you are wont to do), and cheered up only when you thought you were going to marry Loras Tyrell. Who does not love you. Because he loves men. Which—firstly, how are you the only character whom this fact is able to elude? And secondly, EVEN IF you had somehow not heard whispers that your betrothed is gay, surely the fact that your discussion about marriage sounded like an episode of My Fair Wedding With David Tutera would have given something away?

But no! You went on blithely blinded by beauty, S squared! And so when your wedding dreams were quashed and you found out you had to marry Tyrion Lannister (aka the Imp), you were upset. And, look, I get that there’s an age difference, and that that might be off-putting. EXCEPT that that is not what you’ve been complaining about. No. By your own admission, you’re upset because of his appearance (namely, by the fact that he is, in your words, a dwarf).

What has your experience with good looking men been, Sansa? Have they left you happy and dignified? Or have they led you to miserable garden wanderings?

Sansa. Tyrion is literally the one male in King’s Landing by whom you have been treated decently. And you respond by sulking through your wedding, and, when he promises not to share your bed until you want him to, saying, “What if I never want you to?” That’s just harsh, La Stark. A simple, “Thanks, that is really compassionate of you because I am fourteen, even though I don’t look it at all because I am being played by a seventeen year old actress, and I think that the respect that you just showed me proves that we’ll be able to make the best out of this situation that neither of us chose for ourselves” would have sufficed. (EDIT: It has been brought to my attention—not by Sansa, because she is fictional—that this sounded as though I was saying that Sansa should be raped/have sex without her consent, or consent to have sex she doesn’t want. That is not what this post was meant to convey. Rather, I was saying that she not pine away after people who treat her terribly/be polite and look for good qualities aside from outer beauty in her dealings with people (which, again, does not mean “have sex with them”).)

You’re being unkind, Sansa. And also very vain and vapid. Take one last miserable wander through the gardens, and then change your ways and attitude.

And then get ready for Loras’s upcoming wedding. Because that thing is going to be the most fab-u-lous event.

cheatsheet: laughingsquid: Yahoo Acquires Tumblr For $1.1...

Mon, 20 May 2013 10:07:29 -0400

cheatsheet:

laughingsquid:

Yahoo Acquires Tumblr For $1.1 Billion

Feeling weird about this this morning…

It’s Yahoo!’s world, babies. We’re all just blogging in it.

Time Well, Or At Least Just As Poorly, Spent

Mon, 20 May 2013 08:23:44 -0400

Me: Sometimes I think about all of the things I could have been doing with my time if I weren't blogging.
Indian student: You wouldn't have been doing anything better with it.

"Also warning to young men in the Seven Kingdoms. If hot women inexplicably offer sex out of the..."

Mon, 20 May 2013 07:09:02 -0400

““Also warning to young men in the Seven Kingdoms. If hot women inexplicably offer sex out of the blue…..run.””

- Continued Game of Thrones analysis from my father.

"Red witch is a piece of work. MOAD [Mother of All Dragons] getting a big haired lover and another..."

Mon, 20 May 2013 06:16:00 -0400

““Red witch is a piece of work. MOAD [Mother of All Dragons] getting a big haired lover and another hitman but I bet he doesn’t get along with her other dudes. Stark girl and Dog will become very close. Imp was great. Told off little Joffrey. Chubby former nightswatch guard (crow) left the special knife.””

- Game of Thrones analysis from my father.

fuckyeahbillhader: Bill’s first sketch(October 1st,...

Sun, 19 May 2013 11:52:19 -0400

fuckyeahbillhader:

Bill’s first sketch(October 1st, 2005)/Bill’s last sketch (May 18th, 2013)

I realize that this is an overreaction of beyond epic proportions, but I feel like I’m losing someone I love (BECAUSE I AM—BILL HADER, YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL, WONDERFUL MAN. GODSPEED, SIR. GODSPEED.).

I missed its actual birthday, but—my blog turned three last...

Sun, 19 May 2013 10:56:08 -0400

I missed its actual birthday, but—my blog turned three last week!

To celebrate this auspicious occasion, and to mark the many, many hours of my life lost to this blog in the past three years, here’s a photo of me holding up three fingers. (I throw the best parties.)

nbcsnl: Love. “I LOVE YOU, STEFON!”

Sun, 19 May 2013 05:02:23 -0400

nbcsnl:

Love.

“I LOVE YOU, STEFON!”

"They should do something like that with the states in America. Except that 50% of the states would..."

Sat, 18 May 2013 09:43:56 -0400

““They should do something like that with the states in America. Except that 50% of the states would do something really predictable. And you know that, like, North Dakota would have no chance of winning.””

- Christine, on Eurovision (and the sad, sad fate of North Dakota).