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Signed, Sealed, Delivered: To the Starbucks stranger

Hello Sir,

First of all, you should know that you come across as somewhat creepy. Like, you just do. And you shouldn’t ask girls who are in Starbucks by themselves to take down your number and invite them to “beer plans” later (also, what is a beer plan?). Furthermore, you shouldn’t ask people if they always go places by themselves. Yes, I’m by myself in a Starbucks. Get over it. And you can’t just say that your half French, half North African background is “an interesting mix.” The rest of us will decide that, thank you. And you shouldn’t insist that an American who speaks Russian in Germany is a spy. It’s like when immigrant women to 20th century America had to prove that they weren’t prostitutes. You can’t prove a negative, Sir.

So mostly I did not enjoy our brief acquaintance. However. There was something you said to your Bulgarian friend before you started French/North African Inquisition-ing me. You were talking about how life is funny because it is made up of the strangest links, and I think that that is true. And then you said how those links will be better if you’re a more positive person, and how it was hard for you to retain your positivity when you first got to Germany, but it’s important to remain positive, because that is how you can change your life for the better. And yeah, Sir, I think that’s true, too. So I’ll try to stay positive.

And also to positively stay away from you.

xx,

ET