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Oh, Balls! A Downhill Tumbl: Die Anderen Schönen Deutschen Fußballer

Of course I’m now hooked on blogging about soccer players. Alright. Let’s do this. We start (and possibly end) with some more Germans. Please note that this is an incomplete (duh, you guys) list based on my own whim. AHEM:

This is Manuel Neuer, or, as I like to call him, Sweet Baby Neuer. I was at a Bring Your Own Meat Party (you mean you weren’t?) when Germany played Portugal this Euro Cup, and a guy showed up with a German flag and was like, “Neuer is still unproven on the world stage,” and I was like, “No, he made his debut last World Cup, and he was great,” and he was like, “Oh, right,” and I quietly thought that this was undoubtedly the rightest I will ever be about soccer. But I digress. 

This is half-Spanish, half-German, all-German national team (mannschaft, as the kinder call it) Mario Gómez. You’re welcome.

I would be remiss if I did not mention Golden Boot winner Thomas Müller.

SCHWEINSTEIGER.

And this is the German national team’s coach, Joachim Löw, who wears jaunty scarves like it’s his part of his job. Which, for all I know, it might be.

This concludes our next (and possibly last) installment of Oh, Balls! A Downhill Tumbl.